Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Vote or Stand aside?

[Ann Zabaldo (zabaldo]

Eris – – you speak my mind on all points. Thank you for so eloquently laying 
out the response. 

I just want to add something from my consensus side of the world:

Consensus is not about coming up with "an" answer but rather coming up with the 
creative 3rd solution that answers a problem. Now that sounds like I might be 
parsing words but as Eris pointed out words are important and so are concepts. 
When a group looks for "an" answer it can often come up to: yes or no or stand 
aside.

In consensus my thinking has always been that if we're going to put the 
collective brainpower of the community into a meeting then let's use all that 
energy and brainpower in creative problem-solving not just in "answers". 

If what you want is a yes or no answer then vote.  If what you want is a 
solution then do use the time and energy of the group to come up with A 
solution. 

Typographical or grammatical errors in this email that alter my message errors 
are totally the fault of Siri. 

Sent from my iPhone

> On Nov 9, 2015, at 8:31 AM, Eris Weaver <eris [at] erisweaver.info> wrote:
> 
> 
> Fern, your question mixes the terminology of voting or consensus so that I am 
> not clear what system you use. If you use consensus, you don't vote!  This 
> may sound petty, but language is important...and consensus is a BIG paradigm 
> shift that is very different from voting. If your group "officially" uses 
> consensus but continues to use the word "vote", that confusion may be part of 
> your problem right there. 
> 
> To consent is to give permission. To stand aside is to say I can't fully give 
> permission for deep value reasons, in which I may differ from the group, but 
> I can stand aside and allow the group to proceed without me. In my mind, 
> standing aside is a big deal that shouldnt be used lightly. It is not the 
> same as abstaining. In fact, consensus does NOT allow for abstention if you 
> are in the room!
> 
> If I don't have an opinion on a proposal or don't have the expertise to 
> evaluate it, I can still give consent, trusting that the rest of the 
> participants. In the example you gave, just from the info available, consent 
> seems more appropriate - lack of sleep doesn't justify standing aside, in my 
> understanding and usage of cinsensus.
> 
> (typed on my tablet's teeny keyboard, so please excuse any typos)
> ********************************
> Eris Weaver, Facilitator & Group Process Consultant
> eris [at] erisweaver.info
> 707-338-8589
> 
> www.erisweaver.info
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