Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Vote or Stand aside?

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Nov 8, 2015, at 6:34 PM, Fern Selzer/US/CA/95003/NBC via Cohousing-L 
> <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:

> I ask cohousers for your opinion on this circumstance:  someone says they are 
> not thinking straight (lack of sleep)  but will attend the meeting and does 
> not have an opinion on the issues to be decided, 
> 
> What would be appropriate to do if a vote is called:
> 
> Stand Aside?
> Vote No?
> Vote Yes?
> Something else?

In a voting situation, the person would stand aside.

But in consensus, the person would consent because they have no objections. By 
not engaging, they are giving consent—just as if they weren’t in the room. 
“This is of no concern, or not enough for me to have been prepared to make a 
decision, so I’m accepting the decision of others.” 

Consent isn’t an endorsement of the proposal — or not necessarily. It is 
consent to move forward as proposed.

When participating in a large group, as opposed to a small working team, we are 
often asked to consent to proposals that have no direct effect on us. So we are 
consenting because we have no objections to what others are proposing to do.

We may have concerns or personal objections but in considering consent there 
are two stages:

1. What do I personally want/need/think?

2. Given the wants/needs/thoughts of others, what is the most effective way for 
us to move forward together?

The first is a personal consideration. The second is a consideration of one’s 
place in a group. A group of people is an organization with its own purpose to 
accomplish. In considering whether to consent, the question is what is the most 
effective way for this organization fulfill its purpose? 

But organizations are composed of individuals. Each of those individuals 
contributes to the purpose of the organization. So the question of consent is 
also one of ensuring that each individual can effectively contribute if the 
organization adopts the proposal.

In cohousing this decision is literally, can I live with it?

For example, the community's compost bins are outside my window and there are 
usually all sorts of gardening supplies strewn around. Often mulch and soil 
enrichers in white plastic bags. I have no objections to the compost bins when 
we have people taking care of them who keep the flies under control or storage 
of gardening supplies there. But the look of dirty white plastic bags and 
buckets just thrown around with no sense of order, drives me nuts. I object to 
looking at it myself (all day) and to the hundreds of people going by in cars 
and on trains seeing it everyday.

We have never made a specific decision about what will be stored there or how 
it will be stored, but by allowing it for years, we have all consented to it. 
However, I can’t be a happy camper with flies swarming outside my door or my 
neighbors and fellow citizens having to look at white plastic bags and buckets 
of stuff strewn around. As a member of this organization, I do object regularly 
when the mess passes my personal comfort level.

The reason I object to consent being based on the “good of the group” is that 
the good of the group is also dependent on the good of the individuals in the 
group. Otherwise, you will have a lot of unhappy campers. And it’s a long 
summer.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Sociocracy: A Deeper Democracy
http://www.sociocracy.info