Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Vote or Stand aside?

[Eris Weaver (eris]

Fern, your question mixes the terminology of voting or consensus so that I am 
not clear what system you use. If you use consensus, you don't vote!  This may 
sound petty, but language is important...and consensus is a BIG paradigm shift 
that is very different from voting. If your group "officially" uses consensus 
but continues to use the word "vote", that confusion may be part of your 
problem right there. 

To consent is to give permission. To stand aside is to say I can't fully give 
permission for deep value reasons, in which I may differ from the group, but I 
can stand aside and allow the group to proceed without me. In my mind, standing 
aside is a big deal that shouldnt be used lightly. It is not the same as 
abstaining. In fact, consensus does NOT allow for abstention if you are in the 
room!

If I don't have an opinion on a proposal or don't have the expertise to 
evaluate it, I can still give consent, trusting that the rest of the 
participants. In the example you gave, just from the info available, consent 
seems more appropriate - lack of sleep doesn't justify standing aside, in my 
understanding and usage of cinsensus.

(typed on my tablet's teeny keyboard, so please excuse any typos)
********************************
Eris Weaver, Facilitator & Group Process Consultant
eris [at] erisweaver.info
707-338-8589

www.erisweaver.info