Cohousing-L Mailing List: "The Coho Way"

[Mary Baker, Solid Communications (mary]

The conflict thread has been very helpful and insightful (I’m writing a 
workbook on conflict), yet it keeps reminding me of the phenomenon of the 
mysterious “Coho Way”. So although not directly related to conflict, I thought 
I’d ask if anyone else is ever befuddled by this moving, ever-changing phrase.

When I first moved into cohousing, I really wanted to fit in so I would 
frequently ask my newbie-buddy for advice. He would simply say, “That’s not The 
Coho Way.” Then he went on to mention (again) that the hot tub is clothing 
optional, and the human body is most beautiful in its naked form. Which I took 
to be a small clue to The Coho Way.

“Okaaaay. But what IS The Coho Way?” 

Other residents also airily referenced “The Coho Way” at times.  I never did 
get a definition, from anyone. One thing I did notice is that it was never used 
as a form of praise. (“Yay, you adhered to The Coho Way! You may now pass to 
the next level!”) It was always a form of chastisement. It reminds me very much 
of the game Mao. And of course, we do not discuss the rules of Mao.

Has anyone else found this to be an extremely awkward learning curve with a lot 
of arbitrary obstacles?

Mary 

PS. I’m writing a short story called “The Coho Way”. My first piece of fiction 
in many years. It’s in the horror genre—several bodies, composted of course. 
Bones are burned in an old pottery kiln, the bone meal is dug into the garden 
and fed to the chickens. Very ecologically conscious.