Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Community Information [ was Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any?} Refuses to play by the rules

[Mary Baker, Solid Communications (mary]

I should probably clarify, I am not being critical. In fact, I agree that it 
can be difficult to pursue conflict resolution when others would just as soon 
wave it off. And if you do strive to reconcile the difference, then you’re 
pegged as a sympathizer, instead of a reconciler.

-Mary
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      Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any?   <– Date –>    <– 
Thread –> 
      From: Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah (welcomeolympus.net)  
      Date: Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:52:15 -0800 (PST)  

I would add
Differences in how to respond to adversarial behavior.

It can happen that a member refuses to play by the rules, to willingly pay 
their share, to respect community decisions and policies. They may even 
threaten, or initiate, legal action against the community or individual 
members. Everyone is willing to make initial efforts to mediate, to build 
bridges, to try to resolve conflicts. But at some point, an individual's 
aggressive words or deeds surpass some people's tolerance levels, and in effect 
they give up on resolving it, withdrawing from contact with the dissident 
member. These people can then feel negative towards those who keep trying to 
fix the situation. Might we call this the 'tough love' issue?

Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
RoseWind Cohousing, Port Townsend WA