Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Community Information [ was Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any?} Refuses to play by the rules

[Mary Baker, Solid Communications (mary]

Refuses to play by the rules.

That’s interesting. Is this a common cause of conflict in cohousing?

Most telling for me is this question: “These people can then feel negative 
towards those who keep trying to fix the situation.”


-Mary

=================================================================
      Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any?   <– Date –>    <– 
Thread –> 
      From: Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah (welcomeolympus.net)  
      Date: Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:52:15 -0800 (PST)  

I would add
Differences in how to respond to adversarial behavior.

It can happen that a member refuses to play by the rules, to willingly pay 
their share, to respect community decisions and policies. They may even 
threaten, or initiate, legal action against the community or individual 
members. Everyone is willing to make initial efforts to mediate, to build 
bridges, to try to resolve conflicts. But at some point, an individual's 
aggressive words or deeds surpass some people's tolerance levels, and in effect 
they give up on resolving it, withdrawing from contact with the dissident 
member. These people can then feel negative towards those who keep trying to 
fix the situation. Might we call this the 'tough love' issue?

Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
RoseWind Cohousing, Port Townsend WA