Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What’s so funny ‘bout peace love & understanding?

[castrohom [at] aol.com (castrohom]

I find this thread thoroughly thought provoking
In our own newly forming community there was an emphasis on conflict resolution 
and non-violent this or that - which inevitably focusses on - well resolving 
conflict and violence. And it made some of us uneasy.
We had some interesting discussions about this issue that included pondering on 
what might happen if there were a more active focus on enhancing goodwill and 
kindness and all those other fine community building qualities.
Our Process Committee changed it’s name to CUE: Communication and Understanding 
Enhancement.
The mission of the Process Working Group is to create healthy communication 
within our community through ongoing education, evaluation, and process 
improvement.
We agreed that it was not intended to resolve issues that arise but to 
reinforce the need for healthy communication within the group. 
The hope is that through good communication practices we can often resolve 
differences with win-win compromises. Our processes must meet the needs of a 
variety of personalities each with their own tolerance and method of addressing 
conflict. For example, some people are more comfortable dealing with strong 
feelings in writing rather than in a discussion.
We are not expecting to be conflict-free but focussing on the good will and 
kindness has definitely made me a better person.

Our ‘wordle’ based on a community survey about what is important to individuals 
in our group about living in community


Warm wishes!

Miranda
Gainesville Cohousing

On Feb 14, 2016, at 2:27 AM, John Carver <jcarver [at] islandnet.com> wrote:

> 
> On 11/02/2016 10:38 AM, Igor Cerny... observed, if I may paraphrase, that 
> while postings to coho-L have a lot about the mechanics of creating and 
> maintaining cohousing, "what I don’t see as often are discussions about such 
> things as kindness or civility within communities."
> 
> In fact there often are discussions about dealing with difficult people, who 
> may be unkind or uncivil, but I don't think that's quite what he's getting at.
> 
> Perhaps there's an underlying assumption that anyone wanting cohousing wants 
> an atmosphere of kindness and civility so it's not worth discussing. Or is it 
> that we don't know how to create it?
> 
> It's long been my view that we can engineer environments but we can't 
> engineer people. To illustrate, we can design a common house that we perceive 
> to be welcoming and that invites warm and friendly interactions, but we can't 
> design how people will feel or interact within that space.
> 
> John Carver
> Pacific Gardens Cohousing, Nanaimo, BC
> http://pacificgardens.ca/
> (a warm and friendly environment)
> 
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> 
> 

_________________________
Miranda Castro
Mailing: 2349 NW 32nd Place, 
            Gainesville, FL 32605 
Phone: 352-505-8545
Email: mirandacastro [at] aol.com