|Re: child raising brochure clarification||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Diana Carroll (dianaecarrollgmail.com)|
|Date: Wed, 7 Apr 2021 14:09:13 -0700 (PDT)|
Again, I bet those parents wouldn't describe it that way. It is snarky language. I'm 100% sure there are two sides to the story, and the one with these words is a very biased retelling. On Wed, Apr 7, 2021 at 4:50 PM Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L < cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote: > > On Apr 6, 2021, at 3:19 PM, Diana Carroll <dianaecarroll [at] gmail.com> > wrote: > > > > "2 households left (in part) from feeling like other parents were not > supervising their children” and "they didn't like others in the community > pointing out the destruction their children were doing" > > > > This is very judgemental language and I'm betting those families would > > use *very *different words to describe what went on. Sure, > > Why is it judgmental? It’s stated as a description of what happened—it may > be wrong but it isn’t making value judgements. > > I’ve been surprised at how unwilling parents are to correct behavior that > is not okay with other parents who don’t want their children to imitate it > — jumping and climbing on furniture in the living room, for example. > Running and yelling through dinner. Playing with the foam bullet guns in > the common house and where young children are playing. > > Some parents think children should be allowed to make noise because > children “need" to do it. It is an expression of their inner being. And the > parents have a liberating parenting style that will produce free and happy > adults. > > These are isolated instances and other parents and adults do step in and > discuss the problem, how others feel about what is happening. And many > children listen to other adults, not just their parents. They get the > message that it may be okay to jump on furniture at home but not in the CH. > > In general we have a culture that discourages doing things that other > people find disturbing, but I can think of only one household that may have > moved because of expectations of children. I think they misunderstood when > we said that behavior in the common house affects everyone and everyone > should be involved in determining what is acceptable. Their child was too > young to have done anything objectionable. > > We’ve had teens with serious acting out issues that everyone has worked > through with the parents and the children came out the other end as good > community members. > > One advantage of children is that they outgrow it. Just at the point that > you begin thinking this has to stop, they got into the next phase. > > Sharon > ---- > Sharon Villines > Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC > http://www.takomavillage.org > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > http://L.cohousing.org/info > > > >
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