Cohousing-L Mailing List: Goodbye Cohousing, Hello Grandma

[Thomas Alexander (Thos]

Hello Folks,
        My wife and I heard about cohousing maybe 6 months ago, and
it really struck a chord with some of the things we had been talking
about -- feeling lonly and isolated in our neighborhood.  We soon
found a cohousing group in our area (Rochester, NY)and got involved
with finding out what was necessary to "get it built."
        Recently (and all of a sudden) we decided to "bail out" of
cohousing.  A house became available accross the street from my wife's
grandparents; in the same neighborhood where my mother-in-law grew up.
We reason: why work so hard to build a surrogate extended family when 
the real thing is already avaiable?  (The "Bird in Hand" problem.)

        Why am I posting this note to cohousing-l?  For firsts,
some people on the list asked me to keep them updated with how our
cohousing group is going.  We won't be able to do that.
        Also, although our interest in community has not lessened,
our interest specifically in cohousing has.  I might drop this list
in a few weeks and felt the need to say goodbye.
        A third reason is that I want to say that we're doing this,
not because we don't believe in cohousing or in the Rochester group,
but that we believe we found something immediately available which
will work for us.
        A final, and perhaps the biggest reason is to ask for
reactions.  Does anyone on the list ever feel like I do?  Are we
giving up a potential in cohousing that we haven't thought of?
What can we do to build community in Grandma's neighborhood?
What resources (books, mailing lists) are available for that?
        Ironically (perhaps not) cohousing-L helped us decide
not to persue cohousing.  I forgot who wrote the note, but there
was a discussion in the archives about commuting.  Someone posed
the following question.  "Which would attain the goals of cohousing
better; a cohousing development where everyone drove an hour to
work, or a conventional neighborhood where people walk everywhere?"
Although not as extreme, this seemed to be the choice we were being
given.  We chose walking.

Thos
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/thos