Cohousing-L Mailing List: Defining for the good of the community

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

This is a tricky question. It of course  can be twisted by the clever
individual to be defined as what I want is the good the community. In
clarifying this it might be better to ask something like, how is getting
what you want in the best interests of all the rest of us? And then asked
others to add their reasons why they see otherwise.

In the decision about redwood play equipment, hopefully there will likely be
several major criteria identified such as Price, durability, esthetics. Once
you have found out those criteria, then you can evaluate a variety of
materials against them. And in the end, Redwood might still be the best
choice based on the majority of the criteria. If so, and if the community
does not hold environmental values such as you do, it is wise to accept
that, step aside, and release your sense of obligation. You did what was
right, you brought up the issue, and the community chose otherwise. Let it
go.

This kind of process does something  important. It sets the  community
awareness in motion on two levels, that personal values can be stated and
people can object on values without stopping everyone and also it brings the
issue into the discussion in the future. Perhaps the next choice involving
an  environmental issue, someone else will bring up the environmental
choice. Over time, environmental concerns may become part of the criteria
that all decisions get passed through. And all this started over the
discussion over  play equipment. And so, even though an environmental choice
was not supported once, the act of bringing it into the groups awareness
changes how things might be done in the future.

Or not. You may be the only one with your set  of values  in the group, and
in the worse case, you can become marginalized and mistreated until you
leave. More than a few people have left community over values differences. I
hope this is not the case and encourage you to seek mediation should you
find evidence of actions of marginalization.

Rob Sandelin
Community Works!

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