Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Interpreting Sharon's" individual vs. group" statements

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

Indeed, there's no reason why a member should "stand aside" on an issue that
affects the members' health as a group. Why is blocking not an option? This
is NOT consensus, this is bullying.

Frankly, I've never heard of a group burning incense in the CH. This has
never come up in our community. If we don't let pets in because of allergies
and asthma, why on Earth would we dream of *burning* anything?

You might want to present some research on incense, since you and I know
it's far from harmless. The stuff made in India has all sorts of horrible
things in it, like various animal dungs and toxic chemicals. I don't
remember where I got this info.

-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California
tamgoddess [at] attbi.com
> From: racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com
> Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 09:53:50 -0700
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_Interpreting Sharon's" individual vs. group" statements
> 
> 
> Hi Kay,
> If what you're describing is "consensus", it's  certainly a
> very bad example of it.
> R.
> 
> 
>>> The objective of consensus is not compromise but resolution.
>>> Sharon
> 
>> Putting it that way helps me grasp why I feel edgy about the way a
>> current issue in our community looks like going.
> 
>> A couple of discussion groups using our facilities, with both resident
>> and nonresident members, use incense.  I've been doing a slow burn [pun
>> intended] about this for at least a year now -- incense is every bit as
>> harmful as the tobacco banned by our no-smoking policy, and we have at
>> least a half dozen members with respiratory problems (including me).
>> Every once in a while the back room was the only one available to hold a
>> meeting in, and even after several days with the windows cracked open,
>> enough VOCs lingered that I would cough for a couple of hours after the
>> meeting.
> 
>> I'll speak up for other people, even if not for myself.  The flashpoint
>> came the night my room-mate came bouncing home, saying there was going to
>> be a belly dance in the dojo.  She pulled out pants, scarves, finger
>> cymbals, and belts, and bundled me into a blanket to come watch, despite
>> being sick.
> 
>> There was a stick of incense burning.  After a  minute or two in the room
>> she was having trouble, and said that she wasn't going to be able to
>> stay. Seeing her deflate, when she'd been so buzzing with anticipation,
>> made me mad.
> 
>> The "compromise" some of the incense-users are willing to agree to is
>> that (a) they won't burn it if they know someone with asthma is going to
>> be present, and (b) they'll only burn it in a couple of rooms -- exactly
>> what they were already doing.  This is a compromise?  I don't feel it
>> offers me anything.
> 
>> An ad hoc committee of members on both sides of this issue is supposed to
>> meet and draft a proposal.  If the incense-users' offer is what passes,
>> I'm going to have to stand aside, because I cannot and will not agree to
>> something that compromises members' safety.
> 
>> And afterwards I go back to the slow burn, now without the consolation
>> that they're acting out of ignorance -- they know what they're doing, and
>> they insist on doing it anyway.  Not exactly a resolution.
> 
>> Kay
> 
>> P.S.  Sharon, can I quote your statement in the chapter on consensus in
>> our handbook?
>> argyle @ mines.utah.edu
> 
> 
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> -- 
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> 
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