Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Fixing the Mentally Ill!

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

I guess I should have been more clear. If the mental illness is something
that the person is not willing to address, and it interferes with the
ability of a group to function, then it is not within the group's ability or
responsibility to cure that person. Plenty of mentally ill people live in
cohousing, as they exist in all aspects of life. But if that illness
prevents a group from getting built, what is the point of having that person
in the group?

WE can argue semantics or labels or this or that, but the basic fact is that
cohousing is not going to "fix" people, and plenty of well-meaning people
have seen their groups go down in flames in the name of inclusiveness, when
they should have set boundaries instead.

This is not to say that there isn't a place for helping a member to
understand and fit in when they might not be comfortable with or understand
consensus. As far as I know, all groups have had to really work at that in
the beginning. But we're talking about someone who isn't even functioning,
as far as I can tell from the post.

-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California
tamgoddess [at] attbi.com

> From: mdutton <mdutton [at] shaw.ca>
> Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 11:00:35 -0600
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Subject: [C-L]_Fixing the Mentally Ill!
> 
> 
> It also sounds to me unlikely that this person will continue with the group
> but if groups cannot manage with members who need fixing, who is to be the
> judge of that?  I think Sociocracy has a lot to offer this type of
> situation.  Everyone who objects or wants changes has to present
> "reasonable" arguments.  I also have to respond to the suggestion that being
> inclusive with people with mental illness in Cohousing won't work!   Many
> people with mental illnesses function just fine in shared situations.  Being
> dysfunctional has nothing to do with being mentally ill.  Many people with
> personality disorders or character flaws have no diagnosis.  Most People
> with mental illnesses seek support beyond their home neighbourhood...from
> professionals and support groups.  For a time I ran a housing program for
> people with mental health difficulties (which is how we preferred to refer
> to people...rather than as being "mentally ill") 6/7 people shared large
> suburban bungalows in a self help program.  A Peer Support program had
> trained volunteers facilitate weekly meetings of the residents.  Of course
> there were challenges but for the most part these folks formed strong bonds
> with one another...in spite of sharing less space and facilities than was
> optimum.
> 
> Maggie Dutton,
> Director of Work Enjoyment,
> http://www.thehomesproject.shawbiz.ca/
> H.O.M.E.S. Housing Ourselves Made Easy Society
> "creating a better way to live, one neighbourhood at a time"
> in Fort McMurray, AB
> 
> 
>> Well, I have to disagree. I have been a member of this list for too long,
> and a member of a working community for too long to not be aware of all the
> groups that have folded because their process didn't work, often because of
> only a few people or one person. I think it's certainly worth trying to fix,
> before summarily ousting her from the group, but I wouldn't bet a nickel on
> her continuing in any healthy way with the group.
> 
> For crying out loud, this is a community, not a therapy group! If we had
> tried to fix everyone who wanted to be a part of our community but wasn't
> ready to live in community, we would never have gotten built. There is a
> time to put the continued existence of the group above one persons needs,
> and that time is ALL THE TIME.
> 
> I understand the desire to be inclusive, but it won't work with mentally ill
> people. Cohousing groups aren't psychiatrists.
> 
> --
> Liz Stevenson
> Southside Park Cohousing
> Sacramento, California
> tamgoddess [at] attbi.com
> 
> 
> 
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