Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Common House Use Proposal

[Eris Weaver (eris]

I have been watching this conversation with interest, and notice that except
for Sharon it mostly seems to be folks who aren't living in coho yet who are
discussing theoreticals. 

My first question would be to the original poster John, wondering about the
backstory. Where did this come from and what were you hoping to get from
posting to the list? Is this an idea you have and you want validation or
critique before proposing it to your community? Or has it been proposed to
your community and you want feedback? I'm curious. The idea of connecting
participation with CH access is unique (and may not be legal depending upon
your ownership structure?)

I echo Sharon's question about why we are OK about rules, penalties
regarding dues but not about work.

The number one topic for which communities hire
consultants/facilitators/trainers like me is conflict about community work
issues. The usual scenario is that the community has policies or agreements
about work; participation is declining; and the few who feel they do more
than their share are unhappy. There are no consequences or incentives built
into the agreements. The community seems to feel that reworking the
agreements and talking about it all will magically get people to increase
their participation. Few communities are willing to apply positive or
negative incentives...even though we use them with our children, our
spouses, our students, our employees, ourselves (when we're trying to quit
smoking, lose weight,etc.) and there is a large body of excellent research
about how to make organizational behavior change...but in CohoLand we hold
onto this ideal that everyone should just want to do it and should just do
it and we don't want to be police etc.

IT DOESN'T WORK. In my opinion, this lack of accountability is one of the
biggest flaws in our cohousing models.

It just might end up being the topic of my next book.

(Shameless promotion: my first book will hopefully be out in time for the
conference! It's titled "Let's Talk About Money: A Conversation Guide for
Intentional Communities.")

------------------------------
Eris Weaver, Facilitator & Group Process Consultant
Founding member, FrogSong cohousing (Cotati, CA)
eris [at] erisweaver.info
707-338-8589
http://www.erisweaver.info
http://erisweaver.blogspot.com


fa cil' i tāt: to make easier