Cohousing-L Mailing List: CH use rules -

[kkudia (kkudia]

Wayne:

For some these are rules you listed...for others its expectations clear and 
defined...for others, it puts content in what it means to be a neighbor, a 
good Samaritan, loving friend. Its the balance of form and human freedom. 
Its a balance between individual freedoms living amongst other with 
individual freedoms that may differ and at times may cause conflicts because 
of differences.  Not tyranny. Love and mutual respect isn't coercion. Its a 
free choice to live in community.  Isn't that why we desire to live in 
community? Not necessary even feeling good about oneself for doing good. 
Love is: "patient and kind; not jealous or boastful; not arrogant or 
rude...does not insist on its own way; is not irritable or resentful; does 
not rejoice at wrong, but in the right. Love bears all things, believes all 
things, hopes all things, endures all things." Isn't that the ideal we 
strive on a practical level in our relationships.

Of course no one is perfect nor do we live in a perfect world; so there is 
narcissistic tendencies in us all. I got the sense that what you listed 
below; is all about loving your neighbor? You gave content, practical 
examples to it.

I also thought Tammy post Parenting is a great example.
    "This all goes back to my parenting philosophy: have clear expectations 
and
    consequences, and then your kids can make their own decisions based on 
their
    tolerance for the consequences. "
    Tammy

Karen
Anthony Fl
in process of downsizing into CoHo community


Wayne wrote:
"but among the prevalent shared values was (1) courtesy. When one did 
something for someone else, one
felt better about one's self. Except for maybe the town bully, almost no one
felt elevated when one failed to extend courtesies, such as

(2) holding doors open for others
(3) taking care of someone else's chores when they were unable,
(4) loaning possessions to those who didn't have needed items
(5) stopping for someone crossing the street, which happened frequently in 
the absence of a
pedestrian law, and the like.

There is something subtly disrespectful implied by posting rules; it implies
that the poster is in a superior position in an hierarchy of coercion and
the subject is inferior, in need of instruction from superiors who presume
the worst about their subjects, rather than the best."

WT