Cohousing-L Mailing List: Parenting in Cohousing

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

I've asked this question before to stone cold silence which usually means it's 
too hot to touch. I'm trying again.

How do communities deal with access to common house facilities when teenagers, 
in the view of their parents, may be abusing such facilities?

There are several age groups for which different expectations can be placed but 
for the sake of avoidance, let's try 14+. 
Have you had situations in which a parent expected the community, for a child 
of this age, to require, for example, that televisions and computers in the 
common house be locked up because the teenagers won't observe parental 
restrictions on "screen time."

In my opinion, this is an age at which adults should have established clear 
understandings of adult behavior that is expected of their children and have in 
place both rewards and withdrawal of privileges if those behaviors aren't 
exhibited. It is fairly impossible to control their behavior with either 
constant supervision or limiting the environment. If the child doesn't begin or 
isn't expected to exercise self-control at the age of 14, all hope may be lost.

When I expressed this opinion yesterday my neighbor said, "Sharon, you are 
dealing with cohousers here. Get real."

How does your community deal with this?

Sharon
——
Sharon Villines
"Reality is something you rise above." Liza Minnelli