Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Parenting in Cohousing

[Robert Heinich (robert]

Sharon,

Is your Common House open to all or is access restricted?

Our Common House is locked but all adults and teens with parents' permission
have keys.  However that does not mean all teens have keys.  Some, in the
view of their parents, have not developed the trust to have a key.

Our Common House does have TVs but no accessible computers.  So some of our
teens do watch TV (cable TV or movies on DVD).

So if the parent have restricted screen time and the teen ignores the
restriction, they should not have a key to the Common House.  However, this
control is with the parent and not with the community.  As I stated earlier,
not all of our teens have keys to the Common House.

-Robert Heinich
 Eno Commons Cohousing
 Durham, NC
 ht 
<http://www.enocommons.org>tp://www.enocommons.org<http://www.enocommons.org>
 where the whirring of the Brood XIX cicadas is winding down but one an see
fireflies now


On Mon, Jun 13, 2011 at 9:46 AM, Sharon Villines
<sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>wrote:

>
> I've asked this question before to stone cold silence which usually means
> it's too hot to touch. I'm trying again.
>
> How do communities deal with access to common house facilities when
> teenagers, in the view of their parents, may be abusing such facilities?
>
> There are several age groups for which different expectations can be placed
> but for the sake of avoidance, let's try 14+.
> Have you had situations in which a parent expected the community, for a
> child of this age, to require, for example, that televisions and computers
> in the common house be locked up because the teenagers won't observe
> parental restrictions on "screen time."
>
> In my opinion, this is an age at which adults should have established clear
> understandings of adult behavior that is expected of their children and have
> in place both rewards and withdrawal of privileges if those behaviors aren't
> exhibited. It is fairly impossible to control their behavior with either
> constant supervision or limiting the environment. If the child doesn't begin
> or isn't expected to exercise self-control at the age of 14, all hope may be
> lost.
>
> When I expressed this opinion yesterday my neighbor said, "Sharon, you are
> dealing with cohousers here. Get real."
>
> How does your community deal with this?
>
> Sharon
> ——
> Sharon Villines
> "Reality is something you rise above." Liza Minnelli
>
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/
>
>
>