Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 229, Issue 13

[Diana Porter (porterd1334]

This parent needs support. You have turned to the police before exhausting your 
community’s ability to help. This does not win the respect or trust of these 
kids.  You must respond as a community.

Does you community have a mechanism to support people in need?  If not, what 
support is available in your community (youth pastor?  their school community 
outreach person or counselor?  a community council organizer?  recreation 
center director?  YMCA?  sports coach? anyone who deals with this age kids all 
the time?)   Kids desperately need to learn the lessons of becoming responsible 
adults.  

Once you find that support person(s) , the  support person(s) and the parent 
must meet with these kids.  The kids need to be shown the damage and have it 
clearly stated to them they have  to work off its repair (doing tasks in the 
community? like mowing? raking? working in the garden? cleaning? ,or the parent 
will be charged the cost of the repair on their monthly assessment which is not 
fair to that parent.  If they do not comply, the non-resident kids will be 
banned from coming on to the community property.   What is in your  by-laws?   
Does the  parent and kid lose the use of the common house and common facilities 
for x days/months for non-payment of assessments?  

I was a high school teacher and these kids are teachable.  Teach them!  Involve 
them!

Diana Porter
Hammond North Condominium Association
Cincinnati


> 
> Here at La Querencia in Fresno,CA, we have enjoyed being an intergenerational 
> community.  However, we recently have begun to experience some unsettling 
> problems with that. A teenager has started inviting her friends to visit, and 
> these ?friends" are disrespectful to other residents, have caused damage to 
> some of the property and make some residents fearful of the situation.  The 
> single parent of the resident teenager seems unable to exercise any control 
> over the situation, and seems fearful of the ?friends.?  We have been in 
> frequent contact with the police, who, although sympathetic to the situation 
> seem powerless since a minor is involved. Some of the?friends" have caused 
> physical damage to our facilities and the parent refuses to pay for the 
> damage.
> 
> We are sort of at wit's end with this situation.  Some feel that the only 
> long term solution is for the parent to sell and, along with the teenager, 
> move out.
> 
> If anyone has had experience with a similar situation, especially in 
> California, we would love to hear of your experience, and in particular, how 
> the situation was resolved.
> 
> George Burman 
> La Querencia Cohousing
> 
> 
>