Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Neighbor Nets [ was Home for sale in Swan's Market Cohousing, Oakland CA

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Mar 9, 2023, at 1:45 AM, Virgil Huston <virgil.huston1955 [at] gmail.com> 
> wrote:
> 
> My neighborhood is actually very nice. There is no co-housing efforts
> anywhere around me that I know of. I call my neighborhood "the lowest
> income level safe neighborhood." It is quite diverse, quiet, and close to
> shopping, etc. I am happy here and love it. Except, I am very attracted to
> more community orientation that co-housing offers or seems to. 

Virgil’s message got lost in the diversity deluge and I want to go back in time 
and thank him for explaining all the ins and outs of having an almost perfect 
neighborhood and wanting cohousing but being unlikely to move for cohousing. 
One requirement of potential cohousers is "have to be ready to move.” That 
greatly reduces the number of people who are able to be interested in a 
specific project at a specific time.

But there are ways that people have developed cohousing-like communities right 
where they are. I’ll list some and others may add more:

1. Begin the same way cohousing communities do — post flyers announcing an 
information session. Deliver flyers to houses within a block or two of where 
you live, depending on how dense the housing is. Walking distance. This could 
announce a conventional meeting in a local church, your front yard, or the 
local park. Even in a local McDonald's or coffee shop. This is a time for 
people to hear about examples and plan some activities. The name “NeighborNet” 
has now been appropriated by everything from math to mental health 
organizations so a more general name like Neighborhood Association is probably 
better.

The town next to us has block associations — they have private email lists and 
organize everything from after-school care to tool sharing and potlucks. (And 
protests. It’s that kind of town.)

2. Spring is coming so this is a good time to plan outdoor activities — street 
cleanups, weeding the parking areas, ice cream socials, bicycle repair and 
maintenance workshop, a knitting group. Anything you would like your neighbors 
would also like. It’s just that no one has asked. One woman told me she had 
lived in a house next to a man for several years and they had never spoken. One 
day she needed help and he was in the yard and she spoke to him. Ever after, 
they spoke. It just took the breaking of the ice — the giving of permission to 
speak.

3. Think about ways that common resources can be shared. Often neighborhoods 
have garages or basements that can serve the purposes of a common house. One 
person has a space for a tool library in their garage. Another has a basement 
that can be used on rainy days for children’s playdates. 3 households might 
invest in a snowblower together. All these things can be facilitated with a 
communications network — an email list or a community bulletin board or just 
word of mouth.

4. Think in terms of proximity and ease of contact rather than a large number 
of people or wanting everyone on the street to join. Start with 2 houses if you 
have to. Cohousing communities may be about 50 adults but gatherings are often 
15 or so or even smaller. Not everyone is interested in everything everywhere 
all the time. It’s the frequency of small person-to-person contacts that makes 
the difference in cohousing. Spontaneous, informal contacts. Permission to ask 
or offer help or a meal. Nothing fancy or complicated. Just every day and come 
as you are.

5. Don’t be afraid to reach out to everyone — all these people live in the same 
neighborhood so they already have many things in common. They may include a 
wide-range of ages or religions or ethnic groups or immigrant status. Or they 
may not. 

Everything you do will build a stronger neighborhood — and that’s what 
cohousing communities are.

One of the best naturally occurring build strong neighborhood shows:

HOME TOWN
https://www.hgtv.com/shows/home-town

If you don’t get HGTV a cable TV show many episodes are on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=home+town

Erin and Ben Napier are renovating a small town, Laurel, Mississippi, one house 
at a time. In each episode, a newcomer to Laurel or someone ready to upsize or 
downsize goes shopping for a house with Erin and Ben who discuss the 
possibilities. They do drawings and explain possibilities and then they 
renovate a house for them. Tiny houses or big houses but always existing 
housing. In the process, they talk about the history of the town and the house 
and how it can be "brought back to life.”

There are 7 seasons so they include many stories about the new principal at the 
school, the new librarian, the couple coming home to retire, etc. And about the 
Napier family as they add two children. Erin’s story of how they met:

"On December 7, 2004, Ben and I met in our college yearbook room about the 
feature story we were writing about him. I was the design editor and for two 
years had noticed him, always the center of attention, everyone’s best friend, 
my biggest crush. December 8, we took the photos for the yearbook. December 9, 
we went on our first date and he met my mama. December 10, we looked at the 
Christmas lights in Mason Park. December 13, we decided we would get married 
someday. It sounds crazy to you, maybe. But it makes perfect sense to me."

The Napiers were named to Fortune’s 50 Greatest Leaders List in 2021 and have a 
New York Times best-selling book, Make Something Good Today, but they haven’t 
changed. They have received wide attention but so far are staying in Laurel. 
After watching several seasons, if I were going to move (which I’m not) I would 
consider Laurel even if it is a solidly red state surrounded by red states.

There are lots of ways to build community, particularly if you already have a 
stable, safe neighborhood and a home.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org