Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Do you have frequent blockers who stop needed agreements?

[Chris Hansen (itschrishansen]

This is helpful. Glen, are you able to give an example of what ‘protecting
a shared value’ means and looks like in your community?
Martie I appreciate the clarification that consensus doesn’t mean unanimity
or everyone agrees. Could you share your definitions of consensus,
unanimity etc?

On Sun, Sep 24, 2023 at 9:27 PM Martie Weatherly <mhweatherly [at] 
earthlink.net>
wrote:

> Once someone expresses a concern such as the one you described, it is
> important that the community and the person objecting listen to each other
> with respect. Frequently, especially when someone questions a solution that
> a team has been working on for a long time, emotions run high.
>
> It then becomes a concern like any concern where the group is committed to
> a solution that works for everyone and not coming from trying to convince
> someone to change their mind.
>
> There are several things that will move this along, such as suggesting the
> person stand aside. If the community discusses this ahead of time and
> agrees on a procedure, this can become a collaborative discussion and not a
> battle.
>
> Not easy but remember we are not looking for unanimity where everyone
> agrees but on consensus where we find the best solution together.
> Martie
> Consensus Coach
> coachmartie.com
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Sent: Sep 24, 2023 12:25 AM
> To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Cc: <martiew [at] earthlink.net>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Do you have frequent blockers who stop needed
> agreements?
>
> But what if someone feels they are protecting a shared value, and others do
> not?
>
> *Glen Ecklund*
> 711 S. Orchard St., #303
> Madison, WI 53715
>
>
> On Sun, Sep 24, 2023 at 6:09 AM Henning Mortensen
> wrote:
>
> > Yes
> >
> > On Sat, Sep 23, 2023 at 7:26 PM Martie Weatherly
> mhweatherly [at] earthlink.net>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Yes the ability to block protects the community from passing something
> > > that will damage the community. In the many communities I have spoken
> to,
> > > this is frequently not understood and blocks are used to stop the
> action
> > > for months and years. That is why I am spreading the word so consensus
> is
> > > used appropriately.
> > > Martie
> > > Consensus Coach
> > > coachmartie.com
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From:
> > > Sent: Sep 20, 2023 5:02 PM
> > > To:
> > > Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Do you have frequent blockers who stop needed
> > > agreements?
> > >
> > > Remind every blocker that they can only block if they are protecting a
> > > community common value. You&rsquo;re not allowed to block just because
> > you
> > > personally don&rsquo;t like something.
> > >
> > > For example, if the community is near a decision to purchase an
> appliance
> > > for the kitchen, one person can&rsquo;t just block because they
> > > don&rsquo;t want that
> > > make or model. But if there&rsquo;s a common value that all appliances
> > > must be
> > > made in the USA, and the proposed appliance was from Germany for
> example,
> > > then a block protecting that common value would be allowed.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > On Wed, Sep 20, 2023 at 4:26 PM Martie Weatherly
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > > A block is not a veto! The *Heart of Consensus video* will show you
> > ways
> > > > to get past the frequent blocker, agree on emotional issues, and set
> > the
> > > > tone for collaboration!
> > > >
> > > > This video is great to watch in small groups or with the whole
> > community
> > > > and can also serve as a good orientation to consensus.
> > > >
> > > > Normally $147, mention this post and you will receive a $40 discount
> in
> > > > September only!
> > > > Email me here or use this link to find out more:
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> https://coachmartie.com/v3/products/?action=addToCart&amp;pid=64dd2148d2172f44344c45b7
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