Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Do you have frequent blockers who stop needed agreements?

[Martha (marthasadler]

If a committee has done its work, a proposal comes for consensus with all or 
most people in community having already had the opportunity to comment and in 
agreement. Nonetheless, if a block is treated like an objection it's not a 
death-knell for the proposal nor for community harmony. Whether someone's 
objection is serious or trivial, it might mean bringing the the proposal back 
again after attempting to resolve it. Even though committees do work hard, we 
shouldn't reduce consensus to an obligatory rubber stamp.  
Martha
(Born at 312.6 ppm C02)

 

    On Monday, September 25, 2023 at 08:13:17 AM PDT, Chris Hansen 
<itschrishansen [at] gmail.com> wrote:  
 
 This is helpful. Glen, are you able to give an example of what ‘protecting
a shared value’ means and looks like in your community?
Martie I appreciate the clarification that consensus doesn’t mean unanimity
or everyone agrees. Could you share your definitions of consensus,
unanimity etc?

On Sun, Sep 24, 2023 at 9:27 PM Martie Weatherly <mhweatherly [at] 
earthlink.net>
wrote:

> Once someone expresses a concern such as the one you described, it is
> important that the community and the person objecting listen to each other
> with respect. Frequently, especially when someone questions a solution that
> a team has been working on for a long time, emotions run high.
>
> It then becomes a concern like any concern where the group is committed to
> a solution that works for everyone and not coming from trying to convince
> someone to change their mind.
>
> There are several things that will move this along, such as suggesting the
> person stand aside. If the community discusses this ahead of time and
> agrees on a procedure, this can become a collaborative discussion and not a
> battle.
>
> Not easy but remember we are not looking for unanimity where everyone
> agrees but on consensus where we find the best solution together.
> Martie
> Consensus Coach
> coachmartie.com
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Sent: Sep 24, 2023 12:25 AM
> To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Cc: <martiew [at] earthlink.net>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Do you have frequent blockers who stop needed
> agreements?
>
> But what if someone feels they are protecting a shared value, and others do
> not?
>
> *Glen Ecklund*
> 711 S. Orchard St., #303
> Madison, WI 53715
>
>
> On Sun, Sep 24, 2023 at 6:09 AM Henning Mortensen
> wrote:
>
> > Yes
> >
> > On Sat, Sep 23, 2023 at 7:26 PM Martie Weatherly
> mhweatherly [at] earthlink.net>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Yes the ability to block protects the community from passing something
> > > that will damage the community. In the many communities I have spoken
> to,
> > > this is frequently not understood and blocks are used to stop the
> action
> > > for months and years. That is why I am spreading the word so consensus
> is
> > > used appropriately.
> > > Martie
> > > Consensus Coach
> > > coachmartie.com
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From:
> > > Sent: Sep 20, 2023 5:02 PM
> > > To:
> > > Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Do you have frequent blockers who stop needed
> > > agreements?
> > >
> > > Remind every blocker that they can only block if they are protecting a
> > > community common value. You&rsquo;re not allowed to block just because
> > you
> > > personally don&rsquo;t like something.
> > >
> > > For example, if the community is near a decision to purchase an
> appliance
> > > for the kitchen, one person can&rsquo;t just block because they
> > > don&rsquo;t want that
> > > make or model. But if there&rsquo;s a common value that all appliances
> > > must be
> > > made in the USA, and the proposed appliance was from Germany for
> example,
> > > then a block protecting that common value would be allowed.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > On Wed, Sep 20, 2023 at 4:26 PM Martie Weatherly
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > > A block is not a veto! The *Heart of Consensus video* will show you
> > ways
> > > > to get past the frequent blocker, agree on emotional issues, and set
> > the
> > > > tone for collaboration!
> > > >
> > > > This video is great to watch in small groups or with the whole
> > community
> > > > and can also serve as a good orientation to consensus.
> > > >
> > > > Normally $147, mention this post and you will receive a $40 discount
> in
> > > > September only!
> > > > Email me here or use this link to find out more:
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> https://coachmartie.com/v3/products/?action=addToCart&pid=64dd2148d2172f44344c45b7
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