Discrimination (for any reason)
From: sbraun (sbraungmavt.net)
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 17:18:01 -0700 (MST)
<<I don't believe it's defensible to bar people from cohousing for
*many* reasons...>> [emphasis mine] [and I agreed with the majority of
the post I'm taking this quote from, so sorry to be persnickety about
one little side issue.]

I keep coming back to this thought: In the US, it isn't defensible to
bar anyone from housing for *any* reason having to do with race, age,
religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. It's illegal. This stance
against bigotry seems like such a fundamental accomplishment of the age
in which we live, that it shocks me that cohousers, who in many (not
all) cases feel themselves to have tumbled to a superior way of life, do
something illegal (not to mention immoral) and don't even feel ashamed
of it. This is the same crowd that has a problem with republicans (the
people usually accused of discrimination) and that constantly bemoans
the fact that there isn't "enough diversity" in cohousing.

I believe that many supposedly liberal cohousers don't want diversity,
not when it is in their own neighborhoods. Differences in skin color are
perfectly okay with cohousers, but other differences are just not okay
(again, not in all cases).

I have heard people say things like, "If that person isn't very good at
saving money, then we probably don't want them in our community anyway,"
or "Does she have children? How old is she?" "Do we really want to end
up taking care of a bunch of old ladies?" or "I would really like to
live near like-minded people. Does this person/family have the same
focus 'we' do on ecology, simple living, and no tv?" "Doesn't that
family's kids play with guns?" "We really want to check people out
before we let them join." "Do they eat meat? I'd rather have more
vegetarians in our community," or (and this one is more obviously a
shocker) "If we lower the prices on our houses too much and build with
disabilities in mind, we may end up with people with disabilities. Do
you really want to raise your children around people with disabilities?"

Why do cohousing groups tolerate statements like these? Substitute skin
color for the above bigotries and you have somebody who can never be the
majority leader of the house (at the behest of many cohousers, even).

I have come to believe that the cohousing crowd, in its worst corners,
is just as bigoted, prejudiced, and narrow-minded as the worst Archie
Bunker I've ever met--but about different issues. Maybe it is human
nature: maybe we should "allow" for people to seek out sameness in their
neighbors. But we ought not ever, ever deny housing or access to
housing, either overtly or covertly, to somebody because they are
different from us. And I believe we ought to work very hard to expand
our tolerance for differences to include meat-eaters, tv-watchers,
grease-cookers, public-schoolers, beer-drinkers with pot bellies,
addicted sports-watchers, video-game junkies, juice-box consumers,
perfume-wearers, smokers, advocates of the war in Iraq, and people with
smelly armpits, not to mention the old and the young.

Enjoying the discussion,

Sheila

[who loves debate in all its forms, so bring it on]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: cohousing-l-admin [at] cohousing.org [mailto:cohousing-l-
> admin [at] cohousing.org] On Behalf Of TR Ruddick
> Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2003 5:00 PM
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Subject: [C-L]_RE: fifty plus cohousing
> 
> 
> When I read these comments I am struck by what seems to be an implicit
> assumption:
> > Message: 3
> > Date: Tue, 18 Feb 2003 13:55:04 -0500
> > To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> > From: "Sara A." <mabonwy [at] mindspring.com>
> > Subject: Re: [C-L]_Fifty Plus Cohousing + ?
> > Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> >
> > At 07:17 AM 2/18/03 -0700, you wrote:
> > >I would also say that for me, personally, there is something very
> > >disturbing in the fact that people want to remove themselves from
any
> > >segment of the population, which seems to be a  growing movement in
> > >American life.  For people to want to make sure that there are no
old
> > >people around would be just as disturbing.
> >
> > My feelings exactly.
> >
> > Sara
> 
> The assumption (or is it an assertion) is that everyone must live in
close
> proximity with all kinds of people, or else confess to having
prejudicial
> tendencies toward "removing a segment of the population" from their
lives
> as a whole.
> 
> I don't see any reason to make that assumption in all cases.  A person
who
> (using current example) doesn't want to live with children has not
> necessarily removed that segment of the population entirely.  Children
> might be a big part of that person's life--just not someone that the
> person
> wants to live at close quarters constantly.
> 
> I don't believe it's defensible to bar people from cohousing for many
> reasons, but children do imply a particular living environment that,
> frankly, is irritating to some (not me, I have six--not all
biological).
> Well, I would want my community to have a fair population of
> children--others might not.  To me, diversity does not mean that we
can't
> choose our living environment in terms of noise, space allocation,
safety
> considerations, responsibility, and all the other burdens that
children
> bring.
> 
> 
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