Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any? | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Fred-List manager (fholsoncohousing.org) | |
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 2016 04:58:08 -0800 (PST) |
"Mary Baker, Solid Communications" <mary [at] solid-communications.com> is the author of the message below. It was posted by Fred, the Cohousing-L list manager <fholson [at] cohousing.org> due to a format problem. -------------------- FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS -------------------- I do appreciate the input, Sharon and Tom. And the extra homework youʼve done. You may have missed my statement earlier in this thread that cohousers are not my main demographic for the workbook. (In fact, theyʼre a tiny fraction of 1% of the demographic.) I have allotted about 500 words at the end of the workbook for a quick addendum about conflict in cohousing, since that is what inspired the project. But the OED definitions alone are about 523 words! I thought that maybe some quick mentions of types of conflict in cohousing would be appropriate. But if thatʼs too broad, maybe it would be better to use the limited space available for stories and suggestions about actual resolution in cohousing communities and how those resolutions were inspired by cohousing philosophies? Mary From: Tom Smyth Sent: Monday, January 25, 2016 11:26 AM To: Mary Baker, Solid Communications ; cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org Cc: Sharon Villines Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any? Mary thanks for your work on list. I think it's super intriguing. Some thoughts about conflict: dissension, objection, protesting, doubt, withholding, pouting or even the occasional prima donna temper tantrum. Dictionary definitions aside, in the circles in which I move, nearly all of these (except perhaps doubt) can be considered "conflict". If you look at the definition of conflict in Merriam-Webster, youʼll see words like war, battle, struggle for power, aggression, antagonism, anger, dramatic action. I don't see the purpose in attempting to differentiate between different qualitative levels of conflict. "Dissension" could be easily seen as a "struggle for power". A "temper tantrum" can certainly be perceived as "aggression". "Protesting" can often be "dramatic". Certainly it is worthwhile differentiating violent conflict. I think most on this list would agree violent conflict is not healthy. But "aggression" vs. "pouting" seems like a false dichotomy to me. The results of both can be equally damaging. Furthermore, the softer kinds of conflict you list tend to be the beginnings of the harder ones (e.g. war) if they are not healthily dealt with. If you look in the OED, the first group of definitions has to do with violent conflict, and the second set says 'transf. fig.', meaning a transferred sense and figurative usage. One of the examples there (from 1883) is "The recurring conflicts between Church and State." Another definition in the same section says "The clashing or variance of opposed principles, statements, arguments, etc.". This is the sense I think folks are using when they say conflict can be healthy. Anyway in my experience the notion of "healthy conflict" is rather ubiquitous in cohousing and leftist circles. I don't think you will get very far starting from the premise that conflict cannot possibly be healthy. -- Tom Smyth Worker-Owner, Sassafras Tech Collective Specializing in innovative, usable tech for social change sassafras.coop · @sassafrastech Resident, Touchstone Cohousing touchstonecohousing.org
- Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any?, (continued)
- Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any? Sharon Villines, January 25 2016
- Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any? Mary Baker, Solid Communications, January 25 2016
- Re: Types of conflict in cohousing -- did I miss any? Tom Smyth, January 25 2016
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