Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Polyamory et al and Ethnic Diversity

[Catya Belfer-Shevett (catya]

Hi Verna,

Thanks very much for your post to the list.  I understand that you are
signing off, but I wanted to respond.

I'm white, jewish, feminist, bi, poly.  I'm new to cohousing, though not to
other forms of intentional community, but you've touched on a couple of my
bigger concerns with it - what it is people here mean by diversity.  I'm
speaking from limited exposure still (reading and attendance at the most
recent north american cohousing conference), but the following is from what
i have observed so far.

One major point that I seem to be in agreement with you on - cohousing seems
to be an overwhelmingly white phenomenon.  I had been wondering if people
from african american and other minorities might feel less of a need for
cohousing because they may have stronger extended family and "racial" bonds,
or if this was a typical white-privilege underlying racism situation.
Though I hate to put you in a position of "speaking for your race", would
you be willing to share your thoughts on this?

>From attending the cohousing conference, where one of the sessions was
raising children in community, I can tell you that there isn't by any
stretch of the imagination an agreement between cohousers on general
child-raising practices - one of the major discussions was how to cope with
different sets of rules or acceptable behaviours from different parents.
>From your comments, I may be on the other side of the spectrum from you on
this, but I certainly chare your concerns regardless.

Last but not least, I wanted to talk briefly about the poly issue.  While I
agree that poly and cohousing go together, I don't think you need to be
worried that any given cohousing group is going to have an overwhelming
amount of poly families or families of other sexual minorities.  Most of the
poly folks that I know are interested in various forms of intentional
community, including cohousing, but they are not by any stretch of the
imagination the bulk of the people you'll find there.

I think when people comment on there not being a lot of traditional families
in a particular cohousing group, they are talking more about single-parent
families and the like, rather than families with more than two adults in
them.

Though I'm brand new to this list, I hate to see you leave it - I'm clear on
what I mean by diversity, and it has to do with hoping that people of all
minorities feel welcome.

Again, thanks for writing, and best of luck finding a community for you and
your family.

        - catya

http://www.homeport.org/~catya