Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Dealing with difficult personalities

[Casey Morrigan (cjmorr]

When we were forming there were no occasions when we went to a vote.
However, at the end of last year we had an issue we couldn't seem to resolve
and it seemed important to take care of it quickly for a number of reasons.
(usually we just come back to it if we can't resolve it quickly, if there's
no urgency)

We had a procedure written into our HOA (homeowners assoc.) bylaws that
allowed us to go to a vote if two thirds of member households agreed to do
so.   Our faciliators told us ahead of time that we would try for a vote at
this business meeting if consensus didn't get us anywhere.  Everyone knew
what was up - no surprises.

We had the majority to go to a vote, and then we voted.  It resolved the
issue at hand, though there was some fallout later, which was a separate
problem.   It made me realize the value of consensus discussions, and that I
didn't want to vote again if we could possibly avoid it.

Other strategies that we've tried for various times we've had trouble in our
group:  one-on-one conversations about the seriousness of the problem, small
group meetings, calling in a facilitator, not calling in a facilitator,
calling in mediators, getting a conflict assessment from a third party.

Is it an option to ask the member to leave the group?  Sounds extreme to say
it--but seems like strong strong boundaries are being called for or your
group will dissolve.

Casey Morrigan
Two Acre Wood
Sebastopol, California








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