Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: Refining concerns / needs

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On 7/24/03 2:35 AM, "Tree Bressen" <tree [at] ic.org> wrote:

> Sounds like a group using CT Butler's Formal Consensus process perhaps?  I
> like his system for its clarity, but i think this is a major flaw in it.
> The group is invited to list concern after concern, but there is no step
> where a group is invited to share their enthusiasm, their positivity, their
> good energy!

Even listing positive things can be a drag, however, because people work so
hard to do this. You end up spending a lot of time massaging the egos of the
person or persons making the proposal.

I think the key is setting goals for a proposal before it is written and
then discussing it terms of whether it accomplishes those goals. Does it
meet the criteria? Are there any objections? And you move on.

This way discussions focus on policy decisions -- what do we need and why --
before a go-ahead decision is requested. The actual proposal can then just
be posted for objections -- the values discussion has been had. If the
proposal meets no  objections, it happens.

What a group needs is to know is:

1. What do we want or need, now and in the future?
2. Does this solution meet those criteria as well as it can at this moment?
Is it close enough?

This way you both (1) understand the needs/wants of the group better and (2)
move forward on a "good enough" solution that brings you closer to your
ultimate goal.

Often what I want is for the group to understand my needs/wants and to share
some agreement that "Yes we want to move in that direction but at the moment
this is the best we can do." That helps me to accept a decision that isn't
particularly optimal in my view because the group has acknowledged that it
doesn't set a precedent for being the "right" decision, only the best one
for now.

I live in fear of people who latch on to precedents and use them to make
autocratic decisions. They are also likely to be the ones who are anxious
about discussing needs/wants, even their own.

Sharon
-- 
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org

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