Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: communication guidelines

[Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah (welcome]

> communication guidelines
I'll be interested to hear what comes up, In my own experience, the  
people who don't need to be told, feel almost insulted to be reminded  
that they should be respectful, avoid name calling and put downs, or  
such. And the people who would do the off-kilter stuff do so out of  
psychological/social malfunctioning of one sort or another, and  
wouldn't suddenly reframe things because there are guidelines.

The only way I saw something like this work was in a group that was  
formally committed to NVC (Nonviolent Communication method). In that  
group, if one had a problem with someone else, for example, one could  
set up a facilitated conversation, with the facilitator in effect  
"translating" into NVC. "Do I hear you saying that when Sue said X,  
you felt Y? Was that because you had a need for Z?" "Is there a  
Request you would like to make of Sue?" "Sue, would you be willing  
to.....?"

Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
RoseWind Cohousing, Port Townsend WA