Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: communication guidelines

[Joanie Connors (jvcphd]

Yes, whichever model is chosen, it is best to have the whole group
agree to give it  a trial, after some research.

I forgot to mention the Compassionate Listening model, by Gene Knudsen
Hoffman, who just died last summer. I think Thich Nhat Hanh has
another listening model also.

On Fri, Nov 19, 2010 at 11:04 AM, Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah
<welcome [at] olympus.net> wrote:
>
>
>> communication guidelines
> I'll be interested to hear what comes up, In my own experience, the
> people who don't need to be told, feel almost insulted to be reminded
> that they should be respectful, avoid name calling and put downs, or
> such. And the people who would do the off-kilter stuff do so out of
> psychological/social malfunctioning of one sort or another, and
> wouldn't suddenly reframe things because there are guidelines.
>
> The only way I saw something like this work was in a group that was
> formally committed to NVC (Nonviolent Communication method). In that
> group, if one had a problem with someone else, for example, one could
> set up a facilitated conversation, with the facilitator in effect
> "translating" into NVC. "Do I hear you saying that when Sue said X,
> you felt Y? Was that because you had a need for Z?" "Is there a
> Request you would like to make of Sue?" "Sue, would you be willing
> to.....?"
>
> Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
> RoseWind Cohousing, Port Townsend WA
>
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