Cohousing-L Mailing List: Book : True Stories, bullying thread

[JoAnna Allen (jowooallen]

Hi Alan,
The bullying thread piqued my interest and then I saw your book mention  
so got it and just finished.    I am new to this list and wonder if this 
is going  just to you but if to the whole list, no problem.
Some of the points that caught my eye and make me eager for further 
dialogue because of where my 6 year old community is today  are:

 * You say SSV has evolved.  I think my community is in early evolution
 * "caring and sharing" and "resolving conflicts of self-interest" do
   describe us
 * Being Mortal by Gawande was an important book club choice for us,
   seeing how we too are 55+
 * Cultures and integrating them -- YES!, a strong interest of mine
 * Rental versus owners -- a nascent issue for us, which I see arising
   within the next couple of years -- we are all owners, but what if . . .
 * Service orientation as a higher purpose for the community, helping
   to arise above rugged individualism  YES!
 * I soaked in the categories of Ultra Lite, LIte, Stout
 * I agree mainstream acceptance  and growth  of co-housign would help
   society in general.
 * cOMunification  is a neat term.

Thanks, JoAnna Allen ,  Phoenix Commons, Oakland CA.  (looking forward 
to attending the national conference in Madison WI.)


On 8/6/2022 5:45 AM, Alan O'Hashi via Cohousing-L wrote:
> Susan: Bullying stifles participation. We have three/four bullies at our place. They gaslight their 
> social malady as "initiative." Initiative is one thing, but when it evolves into 
> self-interest and hubris because they don't get their way, that's when it becomes bullying. The 
> problem at my place, is the bullies have cronies who are enablers, "Oh, It's not about 
> So-and-So. Let's get back to the issue." My bullies tend to gang up on the same people, who 
> are the meeker community members - mostly women - so misogyny also is at play. One person was so 
> adamant about getting in the last word on an issue, that on the night of the community meeting, 
> they wrote a terse and whiney email threatening not to follow the policy if it was adopted.
>
> I devote a few chapters of my book to bullying behavior, causes and 
> accountability:https://smile.amazon.com/True-Stories-Aging-Do-Gooder-cohousing-ebook/dp/B08P4WRRG1/
>
>
> Alan O
>
>
>   Hi