Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Diversity

[Lyle Scheer (wonko]

On 2/23/23 9:43 AM, Diana Carroll wrote:
> These aren't "rules", they are guidelines. There's nothing to "consent" to.
> To the extent that they are rules, they are established and enforced by our
> culture, not by this website. A bad apology is a bad apology; these
> guidelines will help people not make bad apologies.
>
> Bad apologies are often an example of microaggressions, in fact.
> Effectively "I'm sorry y'all are so sensitive".
Or perhaps they are cultural differences.

For example... in my understanding of the culture of Japan, if one is in 
a car accident, one raised in that culture is likely to get out of the 
car and immediately apologize to the other driver, meaning, "I'm sorry 
we're in this situation together."  This can be completely misconstrued 
in another culture, which assumes the person apologizing is admitting fault.

Similarly, a web site with "guidelines" to an apology assumes certain 
norms, or perhaps you might call them rules, about apologies.

If cohousing is to embrace diversity, I believe it must embrace 
differences in culture, which may mean that what you expect you may not 
receive, and alternate methods of expression may not be something you 
fully relate to.  Rather than becoming offended and demanding 
remonstrance in the currency you are used to, it might be a wiser choice 
to rather try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Otherwise, I fear true diversity is unobtainable.  I mean... look at 
this thread!

- Lyle