Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Diversity

[Diana Carroll (dianaecarroll]

These aren't "rules", they are guidelines. There's nothing to "consent" to.
To the extent that they are rules, they are established and enforced by our
culture, not by this website. A bad apology is a bad apology; these
guidelines will help people not make bad apologies.

Bad apologies are often an example of microaggressions, in fact.
Effectively "I'm sorry y'all are so sensitive".

Diana
Mosaic Commons, Berlin, MA



On Thu, Feb 23, 2023 at 11:39 AM Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L <
cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:

> > This is not a good apology.
> > Here’s a basic primer on apologies. Re your apology, numbers 1, 3, 4, 5
> are areas for improvement - especially 1.
> > https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-apologize
>
> Respecting diversity means that we cannot expect everyone to live by
> pre-established rules, certainly not rules they may never have even known
> about and have made no promise to follow.
>
> When attempts at apologizing are rejected and rules are imposed about what
> an apology is, we are very far from respecting each person as a
> well-meaning and unique individual.
>
> Healthline is a very good resource so probably this is a good guide to
> expressing an apology, but it is not a standard that can be autocratically
> imposed and used as a judgment of good or bad. Consent is required when
> making rules.
>
> Sharon
> ----
> Sharon Villines
> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> http://www.takomavillage.org
>
>
>
>
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