Re: Re: rituals
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2001 11:22:01 -0700 (MST)
> I'd hold off on buying more chairs.
> On the orther hand, maybe you'll continue to have T-giving together. Who
> knows?

This raises another question. The measure I use for whether something we are
planning feels right or not is my extended family.

As a child I have two quite large ones although they have scattered now and
fissures have developed. I really miss my grandmothers because they were the
organizers and the dispute settlers. They didn't do all the work but they
saw that someone else did and they set the order for things.

During our first year of move-in, people have quietly slipped into various
roles but the kitchen is still fairly aimless.

With Thanksgiving, What would my family do?

Well, the tables were for the food and people sat everywhere -- windowsills,
bunkbeds, floors, front porch, back stairs. The children under 4 might sit
at a table or in  highchairs so they wouldn't spill. But the idea of tables
and chairs for everyone was not even a consideration.

We included inlaws and outlaws so it got big. No one was ever turned away.
The turkey gets cooked in the kitchen but everything else is pot luck.

Obviously what I want is a recreation of an extended family -- some you love
and some you don't but they are still family and welcome.

What measures do other people do? How do you know what feels right?


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