Re: members leaving the community
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Thu, 31 Oct 2002 10:05:02 -0700 (MST)
On 31/10/2002 3:48 AM, "Elizabeth Stevenson" <tamgoddess [at]> wrote:

> We have found that it is difficult to keep in touch with members who move
> away. So, it really IS saying goodbye, even if we're in denial every single
> time.

I've moved a lot, probably 100 times in my life beginning as a war baby
living with various relatives. I've probably been in denial my whole life
about leaving being leaving, but saying goodbye is much more difficult than
just leaving and intending to stay in touch.

Also moving on to a new life is hard enough, with all the arrangements and
adjustment to change, that a ceremony about it seems worse. Putting words on
things makes them more real than if you don¹t. As the leaver, you have to
listen to everyone else's feelings, which can be a real burden. And after
everyone has said goodbye, how do you return?????

On the other hand, no one noticing that you are leaving is much worse.
Perhaps helping and celebrating the future would be better than
commemorating the past and focusing on loss (which not everyone will feel

Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC

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