Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Privacy for Introverts

[Elizabeth Magill (pastorlizm]

This is a  huge problem for me. Our porches were available for nearly a year 
before the common house had its occupancy permit (long story), so they have 
developed into a major socializing place. I *love* that. 

*And* it means that being on the porch appears to mean you want visitors. *And* 
I personally have no ability to say no to neighbors. So my neighbor comes up, 
says "want visitors" and I always say yes. Even when I am supposedly writing my 
thesis or an article, or doing work. I even sometimes say "I'm working but I 
can take a break". 

Mama mia!

I finally sent a note to my neighbors explaining that if I am in the back yard, 
please do not ask me if I'm free--assume I am not. I hope to build a deck and 
dream that I will then start getting work done.

Also there is the common house question: when my "sit silently and write" group 
meets during the day we usually have at least one child come in to chat. That 
is, one child not related to any of us. Cohousing has taught me (somewhat, see 
above) to be able to draw better boundaries. "We can't be interrupted anne, 
sorry". But when we meet in the evenings there are lots of interruptions.

Love to hear if other communities have a way to deal with that.

I like the hat suggestion, I might try it. Sometimes I don't go out to our 
labyrinth because I'll have to pass all the people on the way.

-Liz
(The Rev.) Elizabeth M. Magill
www.mosaic-commons.org
Berlin, MA
508-450-0431




On Sep 29, 2015, at 8:03 AM, Marilyn Seiler <marilynseiler72 [at] gmail.com> 
wrote:

> 
> How does your community address the outside-the-home privacy needs for the 
> introverts of your cohousing community? Is privacy primarily INSIDE the home 
> or are adaptations such as privacy fences allowed and used?  What other 
> measures or means are you using to promote a sense of privacy for those who 
> have high privacy needs?  Thank you.
> 
> Marilyn Seiler