Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Giving or Taking-childcare

[Ann Zabaldo (zabaldo]

Liz-- I so enjoy your posts as they are well thought out and come from
practical living experience in cohousing.  Things are still pretty dicey
here in TVC -- at least for me! -- but I think of your words often -- things
will get better!

Ann Zabaldo

Takoma Village Cohousing
Washington, DC. -- America's
Hometown!
zabaldo [at] earthlink.net

----- Original Message -----
From: "Elizabeth Stevenson" <tamgoddess [at] home.com>
To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2001 11:09 AM
Subject: Re: [C-L]_Giving or Taking-childcare


> I'm curious. How many other built coousing groups are out there that pay
for
> childcare as a whole? It seems to me that this is a growing pain thing,
> since it's really not a big expense-a few bucks/month. It's a small price
to
> pay for peace at meetings and attracting new members. It seems
hypocritical
> to pay before, but not after, move-in.
>
> There are lots of issues right when people move in, and this is one of
many
> that push peoples' buttons. It involves money and other peoples' kids.
There
> is also an adjustment for almost everyone who moves into cohousing around
> having to share. All of a sudden, you have to pay for lots of things you
> don't necessarily want, have to share space, have to make decisions as a
> group that affect you directly. People get really uptight about things
like
> this that they will later look back on and laugh. Hell, we didn't have
grass
> for months because we couldn't agree on what variety to buy. Parents like
me
> had special mud clothes for the kids to wear on rainy days. What a bunch
of
> idiots we were!
>
> But we got through that. And I think that the resentments melt away when
the
> benefits start coming through. Think of all the things that parents pay
for,
> and rarely use. Think of all the things that only a minority of people
use,
> but the whole group pays for. Why is childcare any different? It actually
> benefits the whole group, unlike a workshop or hot tub that only some
people
> use.
>
> Giving and taking will get much easier, I promise.
>
> --
> Liz Stevenson
> Southside Park Cohousing
> Sacramento California
>
> http://members.home.net/southsideparkcohousing/
> tamgoddess [at] home.com
> > From: Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>
> > Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> > Date: Tue, 02 Oct 2001 10:03:51 -0400
> > To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> > Subject: Re: [C-L]_Giving or Taking
> >
> >> At the meeting they would pass around a donation box and anyone who
> >> voluntarily wanted to contribute to the child care could.  The parents
of
> >> the kids would split the balance owed after the donations.
> >
> > As a parent, I would feel very odd having to split the leavings. And as
a
> > contributor, I'm one of those people who feels obligated to contribute
so I
> > prefer some standardized way of dealing with this.
> >
> > Paying a sitter before move in is important because you want everyone to
be
> > able to focus on the orientation/meeting and there will be new people
there
> > who would feel more welcomed if they knew that child care was available.
> >
> > After move-in, there are more alternatives and a permanent solution can
be
> > set up. We have a room with a window that is visible from the dining
room
> > and we face it as we are meeting. This way we don't need child care, at
> > least until we have babies. But for the most part the children play well
> > together and everyone can focus on the meeting and tend children as
well.
> >
> > To have childcare as a permanent part of the budget would be resented by
> > some of our members who feel that they have raised their children with
no
> > help from anyone so now do not want the responsibility. Childcare for a
> > special event, would be used differently.
> >
> > We also at one point had voluteers for child care who each did an hour
> > rather than the whole time. Then they could choose which part of the
meeting
> > they were interested in attending.
> >
> > Sharon
> > --
> > Sharon Villines
> > Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> > http://www.takomavillage.org
> >
> >
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