Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Bullying

[Kathleen Lowry (kathleenlowrylpcclmft]

As an LMFTs, (marriage and family therapists) we encourage -insist? If they 
want to continue with therapy- on radical honesty in families, so it is 
expected that on any issue, there are no “private” emails or texts. All are 
shared. Automatically. We say, no secrecy is allowed on any issue that affects 
the family. Then conversations about how we behave when we don’t get what we 
want, what bullying behavior is. After being warned by the group, the bully is 
asked to leave the meeting. 
Without consequences most of us, myself included, don’t change. 

> On Aug 5, 2022, at 7:11 AM, Sue Donaldson <susalson [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Many cohousing communities seem to have at least a few residents who like
> to get their own way, and are not shy about making that happen.  Their
> tactics may include private emails that are critical or demeaning, speaking
> harshly or yelling at others, or interrupting or overriding in meetings.
> Usually communities are well aware of who these individuals are, but may
> not be aware of specific instances, which leaves the target of the bullying
> defenseless.
> 
> Any suggestions for dealing with this kind of thing? It's a problem in
> other kinds of organizations as well.
> 
> Sue Donaldson
> Village Hill Cohousing
> Northampton, MA
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