Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Bullying

[Diana Carroll (dianaecarroll]

Cohousing communities aren't families. If there were no private emails
between members, if every email went out to the whole list, that would be
hundreds of emails a day and we'd stop functioning. Also, part of why I
live in cohousing and not a commune or a cult is that I have a need for
privacy in my life. Not *secrecy, *just privacy.

Diana
Mosaic Commons, Berlin, MA

On Fri, Aug 5, 2022 at 9:29 AM Kathleen Lowry <
kathleenlowrylpcclmft [at] gmail.com> wrote:

> As an LMFTs, (marriage and family therapists) we encourage -insist? If
> they want to continue with therapy- on radical honesty in families, so it
> is expected that on any issue, there are no “private” emails or texts. All
> are shared. Automatically. We say, no secrecy is allowed on any issue that
> affects the family. Then conversations about how we behave when we don’t
> get what we want, what bullying behavior is. After being warned by the
> group, the bully is asked to leave the meeting.
> Without consequences most of us, myself included, don’t change.
>
> > On Aug 5, 2022, at 7:11 AM, Sue Donaldson <susalson [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > Many cohousing communities seem to have at least a few residents who
> like
> > to get their own way, and are not shy about making that happen.  Their
> > tactics may include private emails that are critical or demeaning,
> speaking
> > harshly or yelling at others, or interrupting or overriding in meetings.
> > Usually communities are well aware of who these individuals are, but may
> > not be aware of specific instances, which leaves the target of the
> bullying
> > defenseless.
> >
> > Any suggestions for dealing with this kind of thing? It's a problem in
> > other kinds of organizations as well.
> >
> > Sue Donaldson
> > Village Hill Cohousing
> > Northampton, MA
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> > http://L.cohousing.org/info
> >
> >
> >
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://L.cohousing.org/info
>
>
>
>