Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Common House Reservations

[saoirse03 (saoirse03]

After facing some challenges that caused much distress ... and in  
which some of our community members were threatened by overly  
aggressive and confrontative non-community party-goers and made to  
feel unsafe in their own neighborhood from a minor act of  
vandalism ... we developed a set of policies about reserving the  
common house for exclusive non-community use. VERY hot topic for  
awhile. Alcohol did play a part in the event that created all the  
stress, and underage drinking was allowed by a too-polite community  
member sponsoring the family event. The other big deal around use of  
the common house for a non-community event was supervision of  
children, especially kids "roaming" the common grounds, taking over  
the playground, and "bumping" community kids.

Now that we have a common understanding of what is reasonable and  
what is not ... in writing, something you have to turn into the  
common house facilities manager, sign and date, and promise to clean  
up after ... life is good.

We also worked out some expectations for events which were being  
hosted by someone in the community as part of their business, as we  
felt that wear and tear on the common house was something we needed  
to take into account. Maintenance of the common house is something we  
all paid for, so wanted it to be equitable.

I don't know that you couldn't work these things out informally, but  
as it happens, in a community with 27 households, there are many  
varying needs and personality types. What is "reasonable" to one is  
not to another. What one assumes would be inviolable is not a  
commonly-held value. Personal insecurities play in, too. "She can't  
do that!" may be an expression of self-doubt more than a community  
need. However, our community has attempted to see the reasonable  
doubt in each situation and work it out with a policy that sets up a  
common understanding.

One of the ways we accommodate and respect one another, in one way of  
looking at it.


Saoirse

Harmony Village Cohousing in Golden, Colorado
http://www.harmonyvillage.org